What She’s Thinking: men’s dating & sex questions answered by women

Top 2 love languages, what does “gifts” really mean, should I send a 2nd message, “good” aggressiveness vs scary, how a man can tell her sex drive

A (27), J (27), Lauren (37) answer your questions about dating and sex.

In the San Francisco Bay Area? I'm hosting two VIP Online Dating deep dives, each limited to 8 people, so I can give you personal attention.

During the VIP session we'll:
- Debug your profile, including fixing common mistakes you're undoubtedly making
- Prioritize the qualities that you want in a date, so you can recognize a match when you meet one
- Brainstorm qualities of you that will attract those matches
- Upgrade your profile to attract that match, instead of people in general!
- Platinum ticket: guaranteed session with me on how to continue iterating

Palo Alto: Monday April 29th at 7pm
SF: the first Monday of May, June, & July at 7pm

If you're serious about getting your online dating working, grab your ticket before they're gone! (You can also get tickets at debugdating.com/vip)

 

This episode covers:

- Outside of online dating, what are the best venues to meet potential partners?

- What are your top 2 languages of love?

- Guys tend to think gifts [in the Languages of Love] means diamond rings and crazy expensive items. What are some of the gifts that you really appreciated, and why?

- How can we tell if she's not interested in us?

- After we match, if you follow me on Instagram, what's the next step? Do we talk there, or on the dating app?

- After we match, if you don't respond the first time I send a message, should I send another?

- What's the best way to get consent? Explicit and direct, or a bit more nuanced? Tell us how you tell us yes.

- What's a way you like for a man to create connection on a date?

- What kind of aggressiveness do you like in a man, and what kind is scary?

- How can a man tell if a woman has a high or low sex drive?

- Things you appreciate that men do

Get your questions answered: debugdating.com/questions

 

Enjoyed the episode? Help others find the podcast! It only takes 30 seconds to write a review on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

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No kiss by the 2nd date=move on, best activity for 1st date, does work stress affect your libido, and more!

A (27), J (27), Lauren (37) answer your questions about dating and sex.

In the San Francisco Bay Area? I'm hosting two VIP Online Dating deep dives, each limited to 8 people, so I can give you personal attention.

During the VIP session we'll:
- Debug your profile, including fixing common mistakes you're undoubtedly making
- Determine how to recognize the match you're really looking for
- Upgrade your profile to attract that match, instead of women in general!

SF: Monday April 1st at 7pm
South Bay: Monday April 8th at 7pm

If you're serious about getting your online dating working, grab your ticket before they're gone! (You can also get tickets at debugdating.com/vip)

 

This episode covers:

- Do you expect anything different from matches high end of your age range vs the average or low end?

- What are the Pros/Cons of Online Dating sites (PoF, OkCupid) vs Apps (e.g. Tinder)?

- How do you think men and women experience online dating differently? 

- If you could choose any activity for your next first date, what would it be and why?

- Do you care how much the guy makes? What if he makes less than you, does that make him less attractive?

- If you're 2 dates in and there's still no kiss, would you move on?

- Is there an etiquette for when I'm too busy one month, and want to get in touch with an old match to try again?

How does your career/work affect your libido / sex life?

- Please rate your sex drive compared to the average woman’s.

- How long is your ideal sex session (the in and out portion, not the foreplay)? what is the minimum amount of time that is satisfactory? conversely, how much time before it’s too long?

- What are your biggest turn-ons before sex?

- What are your biggest turn-ons during sex?

- Which question do you prefer: may I do this, can we do this, or what would you like?

- What's your favorite way to have your clitoris touched?

Get your questions answered: debugdating.com/questions

 

Enjoyed the episode? Help others find the podcast! It only takes 30 seconds to write a review on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

Subscribe to not miss an episode: Apple Podcasts, Google PlayStitcher, Spotify, OvercastRadioPublic, Podbean, TuneIn

Who pays on 1st date, favorite foreplay spots, how to ask if she likes what you’re doing during sex, attractive parts of men’s bodies, things she appreciates when you do

R (36), S (27), and G (26) finish answering your questions about dating and sex.

In the SF Bay Area? I'm hosting two VIP Online Dating deep dives, each limited to 8 people, so I can give you personal attention.

During the VIP session we'll:
- Debug your profile, including fixing common mistakes you're undoubtedly making
- Determine how to recognize the match you're really looking for
- Upgrade your profile to attract that match, instead of women in general!

SF: Monday April 1st at 7pm
South Bay: Monday April 8th at 7pm

If you're serious about getting your online dating working, grab your ticket before they're gone! (You can also get tickets at debugdating.com/vip)

 

This episode covers:

- Where is your favorite place to be touched for foreplay? How do you like to be touched there?

- How do you like to be asked during sex what you like and want (direct, not asking at all and intuitively feeling it out, etc...)

- How does it feel as a woman when you want sex more than your partner does, and you can’t use that asymmetry to exercise power over him?

- Who pays on the first date, what do you prefer?

- What do you find attractive about men’s bodies?

- I love it when my partner squeezes her kegels while we're having sex. Is that something you can do? Do you enjoy it?

- Beyond the first time you have sex, how do you like your boyfriend to tell you he wants to, and is excited to, have sex with you that night?

- Any last things you really appreciate when guys do?

Get your questions answered: debugdating.com/questions

 

Enjoyed the episode? Help others find the podcast! It only takes 30 seconds to write a review on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

Subscribe to not miss an episode: Apple Podcasts, Google PlayStitcher, Spotify, OvercastRadioPublic, Podbean, TuneIn

Best way to get consent, length of ideal sex session, creating connection on a date, top 2 languages of love, discussing fantasies that aren’t mainstream

R (36), S (27), and G (26) answer your questions about dating and sex.

In the SF Bay Area? I'm hosting two VIP Online Dating deep dives, each limited to 8 people, so I can give you personal attention.

During the VIP session we'll:
- Debug your profile, including fixing common mistakes you're undoubtedly making
- Determine how to recognize the match you're really looking for
- Upgrade your profile to attract that match, instead of women in general!

SF: Monday April 1st at 7pm
South Bay: Monday April 8th at 7pm

If you're serious about getting your online dating working, go to debugdating.com/vip and grab your ticket before they're gone!

This episode covers:

- What's a good first date activity? What's one that is boring or overdone?

- What's the best way to get consent? Explicit and direct, or a bit more nuanced? Tell us how you tell us yes.

- What’s a way you like for a man to create connection on a date?

- What are your top 2 languages of love?

- After we match, if you don't respond the first time I send a message, should I send another?

- What kind of aggressiveness do you like in a man, and what kind is scary?

- Rate your sex drive compared to the average woman’s

- How do you like to discuss fantasies that aren't mainstream, or might have sensitivities attached to them?

- How long is your ideal sex session (the in and out portion, not the foreplay)? What is the minimum amount of time that is satisfactory? conversely, how much time before it’s too long?

Get your questions answered: debugdating.com/questions

 

 

Enjoyed the episode? Help others find the podcast! It only takes 30 seconds to write a review on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

Subscribe to not miss an episode: Apple Podcasts, Google PlayStitcher, Spotify, OvercastRadioPublic, Podbean, TuneIn

Turn-ons during sex, caring about how much you make, how to tell her you’re excited for sex, how you can create connection on a date

Stefanie Maegan (28), the host of the Broke Girl Therapy podcast, and Rose McAleese (29) answer your questions! (Part 2 / 2)

Get your questions answered: debugdating.com/questions

This episode covers:

- Beyond the first time you have sex, how do you like your boyfriend to tell you he wants to, and is excited to, have sex with you that night?

- When you want to have sex more than your partner does, or your partner wants to have sex more than you do, what do you feel like is the best way to work through that, to talk through that, to deal with it?

- How can you tell if she’s not interested in you?

- Do you enjoy teasing men (like leaning in for a kiss, then pulling back if he leans in)? What do you get out of it? How do you think it feels for us? What’s the best way to deal with a woman who’s teasing me?

- Do you care how much the guy makes? What if he makes less than you, does that make him less attractive?

- What’s a way you like for a man to create connection on a date?

- What are your biggest turn-ons during sex?

- Any last things you really appreciate when guys do?

Finally, here's Rose's playlist for sex:  https://open.spotify.com/user/1220199229/playlist/51pLZJ7nNCMfJvp29lFC6U?si=vIZTpPFNTouAmDblKJ7SBw

 

Enjoyed the episode? Help others find the podcast! It only takes 30 seconds to write a review on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

Subscribe to not miss an episode: Apple Podcasts, Google PlayStitcher, Spotify, OvercastRadioPublic, Podbean, TuneIn

21: work affecting libido, when to talk about sex, aggressiveness you like in a man

Stefanie Maegan (28), the host of the Broke Girl Therapy podcast, and Rose McAleese (29) answer your questions! (Part 1 / 2)

Get your questions answered: debugdating.com/questions

This episode covers:

- How would you like to be approached at work? Have you ever been? How did that feel?

- What are the Pros/Cons of Online Dating sites (PoF, OkCupid) vs Apps (e.g. Tinder, Bumble)?

- If you're 2 dates in and there's still no kiss, would you move on?

- What kind of aggressiveness do you like in a man, and what kind is scary?

- How can we spot a female profile that is catfishing us?

- What do you think is the solution to your work stress affecting your dating and libido? What can men do to help you with that?

- Please rate your sex drive compared to the average woman’s.

- When you're ready to have sex with him, when do you prefer talking about your preferences and desires for sex? In bed before sex, while having sex, outside the bedroom?

- There's a phrase "opposites attract". Has that been true in your good relationships?

- Which question do you prefer: may I do this, can we do this, or what would you like?

 

Enjoyed the episode? Help others find the podcast! It only takes 30 seconds to write a review on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

Subscribe to not miss an episode: Apple Podcasts, Google PlayStitcher, Spotify, OvercastRadioPublic, Podbean, TuneIn

20: who pays on 1st date, do you care how much a guy makes, what can he do to help her make clear sexual requests, how does work stress affect dating and sex, optimal sex session length

Note: this episode got messed up on my podcast host, with 2 minutes of silence and a weird speed adjustment (no, I wasn't on helium!) so I've re-uploaded it. Sorry about that -- give it another listen!

Z, Janey, and Chloe answer your questions!

Office hours, Wednesdays in February @ 1pm Pacific Time: facebook.com/debugdating

 

Hear your questions get answered! Send them to Greg: makeonlinedatingfun.com/questions

This episode covers:

- If a guy isn’t interested in you, how would you like him to tell you that?

- How can you tell if she’s not interested in you?

- Do you care how much the guy makes? What if he makes less than you, does that make him less attractive?

- Who pays on the first date, what do you prefer?

- What behaviors in your partner help you be open and clear with your sexual requests?

- How does your career/work affect your dating life?

- What do you think is the solution to your work stress affecting your dating and libido? What can men do to help you with that?

- Please rate your sex drive compared to the average woman’s

- How can a man tell if a woman has a high or low sex drive?

- Beyond the first time you have sex, how do you like your boyfriend to tell you he wants to, and is excited to, have sex with you that night?

- How long is your ideal sex session (not including foreplay)? What is the minimum amount of time that is satisfactory? Conversely, how much time before it’s too long?

 

Enjoyed the episode? Help others find the podcast! It only takes 30 seconds to write a review on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

Subscribe to not miss an episode: Apple Podcasts, Google PlayStitcher, Spotify, OvercastRadioPublic, Podbean, TuneIn

19: First date topics, languages of love, women’s short answers, Instagram, older vs younger matches, last things you appreciate

Z, Janey, and Chloe answer your questions!

Office hours, Wednesdays in February @ 1pm Pacific Time: facebook.com/debugdating

 

Hear your questions get answered! Send them to Greg: makeonlinedatingfun.com/questions

This episode covers:

- What are the first date topics that meaningful and enjoyable for you to talk about?

- What are your top 2 languages of love?

- Why do women so often just answer with something short ("things are great"), and not even ask a question back to me? (Is this something guys do, too?)

- What do you find attractive about men’s bodies?

- After we match, if you follow me on Instagram, what's the next step? Do we talk there, or on the dating app?

- What do you look for on someone's Instagram? What stands out? What's meh?

- Do you expect anything different from matches high end of your age range vs the average or low end?

- Any strong thoughts/feelings about "how to proceed when established partner is not really into it at the moment but realizes these things go both ways." For example, is "be a good sport" a worthy rule of thumb? If not, what is the preferred rule of thumb?

- Any last things you really appreciate when guys do?

 

Enjoyed the episode? Help others find the podcast! It only takes 30 seconds to write a review on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

Subscribe to not miss an episode: Apple Podcasts, Google PlayStitcher, Spotify, OvercastRadioPublic, Podbean, TuneIn

18: Non-American perspective, part 3: do you enjoy teasing men, best venues to meet potential partners, who pays on the first dates

Ms J, BL, and LLJT answer your questions!

Office hours, Wednesdays in February @ 1pm Pacific Time: facebook.com/debugdating

 

Hear your questions get answered! Send them to Greg: makeonlinedatingfun.com/questions

This episode covers:

- Do you enjoy teasing men (like leaning in for a kiss, then pulling back if he leans in)? What do you get out of it? How do you think it feels for us? What’s the best way to deal with a woman who’s teasing me?

- Outside of online dating, what are the best venues to meet potential partners?

- Who pays on the first date, what do you prefer?

- Any last things you really appreciate when guys do?

 

Enjoyed the episode? Help others find it by writing a review on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

Subscribe to stay up to date: Apple Podcasts, Google PlayStitcher, Spotify, OvercastRadioPublic, Podbean, TuneIn

17: Non-American perspective: wanting sex more than he does, favorite foreplay spots, favorite parts of men’s bodies, breast touching, favorite ways for man to tell you he’s excited for sex

Ms J, BL, and LLJT answer your questions!

Workshopsfacebook.com/debugDating/events
SF: find a date for Valentine's Day
LA: Get the first dates you want! 

Office hours, Wednesday 1pm PT: facebook.com/debugdating

 

Hear your questions get answered! Send them to Greg: makeonlinedatingfun.com/questions

This episode covers:

- What do you find attractive about men’s bodies?

- Where is your favorite place to be touched for foreplay? How do you like to be touched there?

- What's your favorite way to have your breasts touched? What about your nipples?

- Beyond the first time you have sex, how do you like your boyfriend to tell you he wants to, and is excited to, have sex with you that night?

- How does it feel as a woman when you want sex more than your partner does?

- When you want to have sex more than your partner does, or your partner wants to have sex more than you do, what do you feel like is the best way to work through that, to talk through that, to deal with it? 

 

Enjoyed the episode? Help others find it by writing a review on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

Subscribe to stay up to date: Apple Podcasts, Google PlayStitcher, Spotify, OvercastRadioPublic, Podbean, TuneIn